Guess What, I’m an Alien! (Chapter 1)

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28th of May, 2019

Today, at 9.07 am the doctor told me I was an alien. An alien? What was that supposed to mean? “You might have noticed you have 3 eyes”. Well, of course. There have always been there. What was the problem with that? “Well, you see… normal people usually have only 2”. Normal people? Usually? Too much for today. I’ll go to sleep and pretend all this never happened.

1st of June, 2019

I can’t read the numbers on the whiteboard but apparently no one cares. This morning, the optometrist told me that unfortunately, they don’t provide glasses for 3 eyes. “There has never been a need to manufacture 3-eyed glasses in the current market” – he remarked. My migraine is killing me so I wasn’t ready to give up yet: “Is there any alternative? Contact lenses maybe?” He had to check with his manager. After 2 minutes and 66 seconds, he came over and awkwardly stared at me. He obviously didn’t know where to look, but he was trying to act professionally. He smiled nervously. I jumped to the rescue: “Just choose one eye. It doesn’t really matter which one. But please. Could you provide me with contact lenses? I really struggle to read the signs when I drive”. Oh boy, you should have seen that. His chin dramatically dropped. He started mumbling, trying to find the right words. I interrupted: “What about laser surgery?” Apparently they’ve never performed this procedure to people like me. But hey, how different would that be? They’re just eyes. Why was everyone so scared of them?

Ready for the next chapter? 😉

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